How Not Getting What You Want Will Make Your Life Better.
A few years back, I had a baby. It came out a boy. Having a boy was a surprise, after all, I was confident that I would have another girl. My daughter needed a sister. It is hard to communicate how desperately I wanted another girl. The future seemed to hold such female promise, and I wanted another girl to fill that future. However, Rolling Stones said it best:
And what I needed was a boy.
Boys can be confusing. They seem to have different priorities. They think in an entirely matter. As a girl, it can be overwhelming, confusing and maddening. However, four years ago I was gifted with a boy, and yes, he is very much an amazing gift. He came out fast, furious and six weeks early. The day he was born, I remember staring at him, holding his tiny hand and helplessly thinking I have no idea how to raise a boy.
After lots of sleepless nights and days roaming wide open places looking for sticks together, I have realized the magic of getting what you need. He filters the world differently, and that means I get to see the world differently. I wouldn't know the magic of bugs, see the coolness in trucks or how speed is a pretty amazing skill to hone. I wouldn't understand that spicy, sweet and a whole big bunch of mischief makes life more interesting.
However, that's the thing about not getting what we want. When you try, we might find that we get something that helps us grow. We might need something that is so good it hurts. At first, a shuttered start-up, a failed book deal, a ruined relationship or twist of fate seem to be all unmet expectations. These moments however hard, offer up an opportunity for us to create something more powerful. They can provide a chance to change a part of us and in turn make our lives better.
Until tomorrow Rolling Stones.